so much for the autographs.

23 July 2008 @ 01:52 pm

well, i'm getting ready to make the trip to ohio once again.
except this time, aaron will be coming back down with me to live here.

i'm four months along, & we go august 18th to find out what it is.
i just want the baby to be here already!
aaron & i are also going down to the court house in a couple of months to get married. :)

lately, i've felt like shit and i've been getting so pissed off and upset about everything.
i feel like theres certain people that just don't give a shit, and i don't understand why they're doing what they're doing and it's really starting to aggravate & frusturate me to no end.

but thats my little update of my life. keep in touch! <3

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23 May 2008 @ 10:04 pm

sam's current life.

well i don't even know where to begin.
i guess first i'll announce (if you don't already know) that aaron & i are engaged and i'm about 7 weeks pregnant. We've been together going strong for a year and a half now too.

i can't even begin to explain how estatic i am to have such a wonderful boy in my life. he truly is perfect and amazing and i've never been happier.

he'll be moved down here on june 29th, which i'm very excited about because its been almost a year since we've "lived" together.

his mother and i haven't had the best relationship or never really been that close but today she asked if we would like to use her and his dads wedding bands. and it meant alot to me actually.

but anyways, i miss you too david white! <3

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03 July 2007 @ 02:51 am

war & love.

i'm confused about so much going on in my life right now, that i either want to scream at the top of my lungs and see if anyone would even hear me, or just run away from everything.
i've recently moved back in with my parents, after being gone from home for over a year. i live with my parents, 17 yr old sister, 21 yr old brother, his 22 yr old gf, and her 2 yr old son. it's hell. for some reason, nikki (brothers gf) and i just do not get along. i cannot do anything without her getting on my back and judging me.

in other news, aaron and i have been talking alot lately about everything. he told me he can see us being together for 40 or 50 years and having a family. and i asked him if honestly wanted to marry me one day, he said yes. i asked him if he believed in soulmates. he said yes. i asked him if he thought that i was his soulmate. he said yes, that i am. i'm finally happy with my life, and i'm so glad that i've found him and have him in it. some people don't see the amazing, caring, honest, perfect guy that i know and love. and i wish they got to know the real him because he is so awesome to know. and i know that we've been dating for only 7 months, but i feel like we were meant for each other, and if you've found the one you have such strong passionate feelings towards, and you know that you're meant to be, theres no reason you shouldn't share your life together, and thats how i feel towards aaron. he's my everything, he's my soulmate and i love him with my entire body and soul.

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21 June 2007 @ 12:45 am

read,please.

oh my goodness its been too long since ive updated any of you on my thoughts and life in general.
-the boy and i have been going strong for six almost seven months now.
-im currently in tennessee as a result of no place to live & no money.
-i miss my bffsld terribly and hope everything with her is going okay. shes been having a tough time lately and it kills me im not there with her. =(
-i was arrested once again for driving under suspension.
-i have not touched any sort of drug for almost two months now.
-i'm doing art alot more and it makes me smile.
-i'm soon to be enrolled in photography classes.
-i need to find a job.
-aaron is going to be moving down here within a few months to be with me.
-i'm going insane living with my family once again.

i miss you!

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17 January 2007 @ 10:58 pm

(no subject)

that's my boy, hehe. <3

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16 January 2007 @ 11:32 pm

shit fuck hell.

everything is going bad.
very bad.
i'm screaming so loud but nobody can hear me.
they don't understand. they won't.
the only person i want to even talk to right now is in ohio.
i just want him to talk to me.
he always helps.

i'm crying so hard right now, i can't even breathe.
i don't want to be alone.
and thats what is happening.
everyone is abandoning me.

i wish the bronchitis would've killed me.

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07 November 2006 @ 10:44 am

ick.

i'm pretty sure danny knows i like him, oh but guess what.
he likes abby.
he's avoiding me.
once again i suck.

my mom found out i got arrested.
i almost got fired from my job.
& this kid aaron made me very uncomfortable last night.

i could go for an amazing hug right about now.

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27 October 2006 @ 02:15 am

(no subject)

yeah so i still really suck at life.
but hey, at least i haven't killed myself yet.

heh.

i decided that i am not letting myself get close to anyone besides the people i'm already close with because these newer people are only going to turn their backs on you.

neat david: thank you so much for listening to all of my pathetic problems these past couple weeks and helping me out. i appreciate how much you care & i'm glad i have you around to keep me going. ily so much.
♥

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20 October 2006 @ 01:50 pm

(no subject)

i did something kind of terrible last night when i couldn't fall asleep.

i've been having more anxiety attack things lately, but only when i think about one thing. you.

i have no idea what i'm going to do with myself because i might end up dead soon if something doesnt change.

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17 October 2006 @ 06:31 pm

fuck.

i lied.

& everything is killing me.

i almost drove my car off the road the other day just to get it over with.

i've never been this depressed before.

& i'm a fake when it comes to smiling.

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12 October 2006 @ 05:49 am

hide n seek.

the neat david is the only boy i love.

=)

i don't want this anymore.
i don't want to want to give anymore.
i don't want to be stuck here.
we are not moving head.

i've never thought this much in my life. my life is fucked right now. but i'm trying to stay a little positive. i owe that much to myself.

i'ver never thought i could be this strong of a person.

but i'll tell you one thing, i'll never trust anyone again.

i wish i could go back in time. so bad i want my old life back when i was happy.

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06 October 2006 @ 01:24 pm

horrible life.

yeah, so john broke up with me.
everyone is lying.

the worst part is that i still love him so much and he doesn't even care.
i would give anything in this entire world just to be with him again. in a heartbeat. i wish he'd realize this. i just don't know what to do with myself lately and nobody gives a shit what i think or want about anything. this has been prooven to me after all of this.
no one, no one understands what has been going through my mind these past couple weeks, and the sad thing is, if they knew, they would just go about their business, even though i've asked them not to.

so if you find out i'm dead, don't be surprised.

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30 August 2006 @ 12:40 am

seriously, read this.

i have had the most amazing yet terrible past couple weeks ever.
i'm so in love with this boy and i can't imagine anything without him.
people have been all in our business though, starting rumors and upsetting the two of us.
not very cool.

but anyways, for once everythings working out somewhat and i'm glad.

but to everyone, i'm sorry for being a horrible friend and not being able to talk. i love all of you though.

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12 August 2006 @ 10:49 pm

yeah.

i'm in tennessee. it's really hot.
abby, chris, & i are in our new apartment.
i miss john already & it's only been two days.
two more to go.

i haven't hung or heard from alot of different people the past few weeks and thats mainly my fault. so i apologize that i fail at life and i really hope i hear from some of you soon, okay?

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04 August 2006 @ 02:15 pm

i'm not dead.

boyfriend, best friend, work, & a new house.

pretty simple.

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20 July 2006 @ 01:39 pm

wow.

a proper update of myself the past couple weeks.
-john & i have been together for two weeks as of today & i couldn't be happier. he is too cute.
-work is going good, i got screamed at by my boss for writing "tege is gay" on the ground and wall outside the building.
-i got pulled over and my license was taken away for a year.
-my bffsld abby & i are going to be moving out by august 7th-ish. i'm very excited for that.
-oh, and i'm poor as always.

i love you guys.

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07 July 2006 @ 02:42 pm

haha!

john morgan asked me out last night & kissed me.

i told you in my last entry it would happen soon. =)

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29 June 2006 @ 04:54 pm

i've decided.

forget about that last entry.

john morgan & i will be dating soon enough.

i've convinced myself it will happen.

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28 June 2006 @ 01:50 am

(no subject)

i'm about to give up again.

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18 June 2006 @ 02:26 pm

head automatica!

this lovely saturday started with abby & i heading up to our work because we're poor. and so i can see john morgan. oh, & money told john that i liked him, i'm pretty sure. but we were sitting there, and these older ladies came up to us saying how they used to be the biggest whores in akron, they started like saying that it doesn't matter what me and abby look like because we're still beautiful. so she practically called us ugly. she said that she made other whores look like school teachers. she was talking about how we need to marry jesus.

then later on, got some polaroid film then headed home.
got ready and picked jessica & lisa up.

went to cleveland to the grog shop to see none other than head automatica perform once again. it was terribly hot though but well worth it. darryl (the singer, duh) was insanely high and jacked off the microphone.
the four of us were front and center of the stage, it was nice.
out of nowhere this fucking kid comes running off the stage, guess where he lands? right on top of my head. i couldn't move my neck for awhile and my vision was blurred. overall, amazing night. =)

oh, jessica sent me this:
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

darryl has a big weiner.

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